> This sure seems like the hard way to do it.  If you really want
> tbluserhealthcalculated to be separate from the underlying table,
> why don't you make it a view?
> 
> CREATE VIEW tbluserhealthcalculated AS
> SELECT *, (userWeight / (userHeight * userHeight)) AS bmi
> FROM tbluserhealthbasic;

Next question: One of the reasons a function is attractive to me in this situation is that I also have some conditionals to handle. For instance, Base Metabolic Rate is different whether you are male or female (gender is a boolean value in my table). Can I use IF/THEN syntax in a view definition?

Bryan